Never mind that scientists haven’t developed a vaccine for swine flu, at least we’re assured that the medical minds at Allergan (the makers of Botox) are hard at work developing a miracle eyelash fertilizer. Enter Latisse, the first FDA-approved treatment for hypotrichosis- a condition where one suffers from having inadequate lashes, which begs the question, “Do we really need a medical term for LASH ENVY?”

It’s actually glaucoma medicine which had the convenient side-effect of treating eyelash impotence, it’s applied on the eyelids every night until desired results are attained and it promises “darker fuller & longer eyelashes”.

It eventually got repackaged with a femme-friendly name and now it’s being pimped out by Brooke Shields, who by all accounts isn’t bald in the eyelids, but the improvement on her is quite remarkable then again the woman used to have the BUSHIEST eyebrows on the planet so who’s to argue with her facial hair?

According to friends who have tried Latisse it takes several weeks to see any difference, but the overall result in terms of lash length and density is quite impressive. Still, the risks are quite scary, like brown iris pigmentation and elevated eye pressure, so it’s safe to say that throwing out your trusty old M.A.C lash curler and mascara is still a BAD idea. After all there’s nothing more unattractive than an excessively hairy eyelid coupled with a spotty, Simpson’s-like  eye. You definitely can’t be seen in the front row looking like that.